Abilist Habits to Unlearn And Why They Are Problematic
(TW: includes uncensored disabled slurs for definition purposes)
===
Using Disabled Slurs In Everyday Language Especially As Insults
While it may be difficult to always remember, learn the history of these words and replace them in your vocabulary with alternatives.
Crippled - This word is a slur against people with physical disabilities.
Alternatives: Disabled, physically disabled, hindered, slowed down, devastated, destroyed
Stupid / Idiot - This word is a slur against people with intellectual disabilities.
Alternatives: Careless, thoughtless, unintelligent, silly, nonsensical, a mistake, intellectually disabled
Crazy / Insane / Mad - These are slurs against people with mental illness.
Alternatives: Reckless, awesome, epic, whacky, random, unexpected, kooky, nutty, odd, unhinged, unthinkable, weird, eccentric, cool, bad-ass
Reclamation of words: some disabled people may choose to use these words to describe themselves as a way of reclaiming the slur. This doesn't give able-bodied people or people disabled in ways unrelated to the term the right to use it unless refering to a specific person in a way that has been requested
(ie. Please describe me as mad)
===
"It could be worse you could..."
Be in a wheelchair / be disabled - this is generally said to healthy people and presumes the worst thing that can happen to you is becoming a wheelchair user or disabled person. This is insulting to disabled people who enjoy their quality of life.
Have cancer - this is generally said to chronically ill people and establishes a hierarchy of illness. No one wants cancer but having cancer doesn't automatically make you sicker than someone who doesn't.
===
Going To And Posting Photos Of Unmasked Events
This is insulting to immunocompromised and immunosuppressed people. When you go to and share these events you actively send us the message "the minor disruption to my life of a mask is worth more to me than your life."
While masking and taking the mask off for a photo is better than not masking, remember that infections and covid do not stop for a selfie. Wearing your mask in the photo is also a great way to send the message that masking is still important and necessary as we are still in a global pandemic.
===
Using The Word Lazy Without Context
It is easy when someone is not performing as expected to default to calling them lazy. But the truth is unless you have context you cannot know this to be the case. The vast majority of people labeled "lazy" are disabled in some way that make it difficult for them to be conventionally productive.
If undiagnosed these people may even consider themselves "lazy" because they do not understand the obstacle (like chronic fatigue, pain, or executive dysfunction) that is stopping them from being productive.
Therefore this tip also applies to yourself and not labeling yourself as lazy if you are trying hard but unable to complete something the way you "should."
===
Bragging About Your Productivity, Health, or Intelligence
Productivity, health and intelligence are not personal virtues or accomplishments they are privileges.
It is a privilege to have good executive functioning skills, mental health, and education needed to be conventionally productive.
It is a privilege to not have genetic illnesses or have been in an accident or contracted post-viral illnesses.
It is a privilege to easily grasp concepts and not have to study hard to excel academically.
You wouldn't brag about being a man, or being white, or being being straight because these are privileges not character traits. Don't brag about being abled.
===
Word Creep
Word creep is when you use a clinical term to describe symptoms that do not meet that definition. Doing this waters down the meaning of these terms. This harms disabled people who need people to understand the actual meaning of their diagnosis.
Fatigued - Do not say fatigued when you mean tired. Fatigue is much more severe and cannot be alleviated by rest.
Migraine - Do not say migraine when you mean headache. Migraines cause severe sensory disturbance and can even cause stroke mimicking symptoms.
Depressed - Do not say depressed when you mean sad. Depression causes a lack of ability to get pleasure from anything, severely affects productivity and can even be deadly.
Bipolar - Do not say bipolar when you mean mood swings. Bipolar mania and depressive episodes can be extremely dangerous and it is a serious mental health condition.
OCD - Do not say OCD when you mean super organized / particular. Obsessive compulsive disorder does not make you have a perfectly clean house, it makes you repeat and obsess over behaviors to the point of severe physical and mental harm.
Psychotic - Do not say psychotic when you mean unhinged or dangerous. This perpetuates dangerous stereotypes that people with schizophrenia are dangerous people when they are in fact more likely to be the victims of crime and most hallucinations are not dangerous.
===
What To Do When You Mess Up
And you will mess up. Abilism is far more deeply ingrained into our society than most ideologies we attempt to dismantle. Even if you are disabled yourself I can almost guarantee you will have done multiple things on this list at some point in time. Personally I have made a mistake in almost every category on this list at some point in my life.
The point is not to be perfect overnight. If you make a mistake admit it and move on. Don't make a big show about how sorry you are, just do your best to learn from it and do better next time. The best apology is changed behavior.
===
Its Okay To Be Learning
This post specifically focuses on pieces of abilism that are unconscious, that are habits. Doing these things automatically does not make you a bad person. It takes time for your reflexes to change and for these behaviors to begin to feel wrong.
While this post is focused on actions is important that you do not just learn new habits. You should seek to understand why behaviors are problematic. Doing so will allow you to adjust not just your behavior but your moral understanding of the world and the people you share it with.
===
Why It Matters
If these phrases and behaviors are unconscious and not meant with ill intent why does it matter to change them?
We live in a world where disabilities are made invisible. These phrases embody the abilism present in our everyday lives so common it is like the air we breathe.
When we make the effort to change our language, we rewire our brains to be conscious of the people we are unintentionally degrading. In turn this means we do not instinctively see these people as less valuable leading to lifesaving interventions in public policy and everyday interactions.
===
Happy Disability Pride Month! It is so important that people with Chronic Illness and Disability like Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (MECFS) and Long Covid show solidarity with other disabled people. The disability community provides powerful connections that can help all disabled people to survive.
⠀
This post is for allies of the disabled community and disabled people ourselves to recognize some of the less obvious ways we perpetuate abilism. While most people know calling other people slurs or explicitly discriminating is wrong, there are subtle things we do every day that reflect the abilism and internalized abilism baked into ourselves and our society.
⠀
Lateral Abilism is when people with one sort of disability perpetuate abilism against those with another sort of disability. In the ME / CFS fibromyalgia and spoonie community I most often see this lateral abilism applied towards those with Mental Illness and Intellectual Disability.
⠀
Unlearning abilism is hard and it's not something you can do in a day or month. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. The goal of this post is not to make you feel guilty about having made any of these mistakes. It is to make you aware of the fact that these seemingly harmless phrases and actions can be deeply hurtful to some people so that you can learn and do better in the future.
⠀
We live in a world that constantly hurts disabled people through the structures (both physical and societal) and behaviors we promote. It is easy to perpetuate abilism structurally because it is frictionless. Not wearing a mask, even in an ongoing pandemic, will get you fewer looks than wearing one. Using slurs or word creep that minimizes disabled struggles and humanity won't get you a double look.
⠀
But just because something is easy to do doesn't mean it isn't harmful. Doing the right thing is often hard work. Conscious work. It's also not something you will get right all the time. But the least we can do is try.
